All the Things I Wish I Knew: My Take On the College Process

Finally! After a long two years of ACT prep, supplemental essays, and too many days spent anxiously waiting in front of my computer for the clock to strike 7:00 PM (the time college decisions usually come out), I am proud to say I have survived the college process. The last time you heard from me through this block, I was a week out from the dreaded early decision deferral.  In December 2021, the postponement of knowing where I would be going felt like it was the end of the world. I could do nothing but scroll through Tiktok and Instagram and hope that seeing my peers get into their schools would somehow make me feel better (spoiler alert: it didn’t.)

Only four months removed from that winter day, I am elated to share that I am attending a school that is the perfect place for me, even though it wasn’t where I originally thought I’d end up. I am honestly counting down the days until move-in and cannot wait to start the next chapter of my life. Now on the other side of this process, and only months away from graduation, I believe I have gained a lot of insight into how to healthily deal with perceived rejection and plan for the future that I want to share with you here. Please note that my advice is based on my own experiences—my experience is not representative of everyone’s—but I’ve learned a lot during late-night supplemental cram sessions, and can truly attest that no matter how hard this time seems, it does work out in the end. 

My biggest takeaway is to stay level-headed and to not place one school on a pedestal. In other words, “don’t place all your eggs in one basket” as my mom would say. While the competitive nature of this process means that in order to get into the highest level schools you are incentivized to apply early decision (ED), my biggest mistake was refusing to envision myself at any other university. In my mind, my ED school was the end all be all, and even when I visited a school that was an arguably better fit for me after I applied, I couldn’t get past the idea that there was just one place I belonged. Speaking from experience, this is a dangerous path to take, as it only leads to distorted thinking and potential heartbreak. Honestly, I am not sure why I became so fixated, but as I planned out my future, I equated success with admittance to this institution, and never once questioned: “why?” As cliche as it sounds, your school does not define you. I know now whether I went to my ED school or my last choice, I would still thrive socially, succeed academically, and pursue my passions. However, I never let myself see that, and it gave me so much unneeded anxiety as mid-December rolled around. 

Bottom line: I encourage you to be open-minded and rational. Understand what you value in a school and search for colleges and universities that fit those main criteria, so whether you go to your first choice or last, you will be happy. And if you do decide to apply early decision—which I’m sure many of you will—don’t let yourself fall in love with just the name of a school. Focus more on the environment that you want, and make sure you will get that whether or not you get in early decision. 

On a broader level, I also learned how to face rejection with grace. For what felt like the first time in my life, what I wanted was not attainable, and I had to find a way to deal with that. Right after, I coped in a less-than-healthy way by scrolling through social media and seeing who got in early decision. I distinctly remember viewing story after story of “congratulations!” posts, to the point where I just put down my phone and shut it off for the rest of the night. Of course, looking back now, I understand going on social media was probably the worst thing I could do. I was happy for my peers who got in but also found solace in the thousands who didn’t, and who were less visible of course. Regardless of whether you use social media or not, try your hardest to just focus on yourself during these tough months. Go through decision days with blinders on, and try to tell yourself that the only thing that matters is your decision. Social media can help you cope, by showing that others are in the same situation, but it has the power to do so much damage when you see who got in and project from there. My biggest regret throughout this entire process is getting distracted from the real task at hand, which was figuring out my future and letting social media take away that focus–and my peace of mind. 

So as I move towards graduation, I view this process as one that provided me with many lessons which I can carry with me into the future. Your next year will be filled with many ups and downs, but I guarantee that when it's all said and done, you will be a stronger person and student. I wish you all the best of luck and hope that you can take some of my lessons with you as you begin or continue your college process. 

Jordyn Ives is a high school senior and NGP’s social media director. She is attending the University of Michigan next year and plans on studying public policy.